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confession

August 4, 2008

I need to confess something to you right now because it’s what God is doing in me today.  I am a far cry from “super-pastor” and hope to keep anyone from ever thinking that.  Lately I’ve been seeing the sin of “faking it” in me.  Sometimes I care a lot more about people’s perception of who I am than I do about the reality of who I am.  As a pastor, I’m tempted to want to make sure nobody thinks I sin hard sins and to act like I wake up every morning with Jesus next to my bed and put on a spiritual cape that makes me happy all day long.  If you’ve ever watched a University of Kentucky football game with me, you know I’m not happy all day long.

God’s been freeing me from that cycle of slavery this month.  Integrity + genuineness = freedom.  That’s what He’s been speaking to me through His word.  When I’m trying to be “SuperPastor”, I can’t be real with people (so every relationship in my life suffers severely) and eventually it stops feeling important to try and eliminate secret sins because reality doesn’t matter anymore – only perception.  You get trapped trying to trick people into thinking you’re someone you’re not.  Here’s what God has shown me it boils down to: when we’re walking with God in secret as well as in public (integrity) and just being our plain, old selves (genuineness) we’re free to let God and people know and love us… and to know and love them.  I hope genuineness is something The Bridge is always known for.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Andrea Wandell permalink
    August 5, 2008 9:21 am

    Josh, you immediately brought to mind the passage in 2 Corinthians 3 discussing Freedom in the Spirit of the Lord and how we are not like Moses who spoke to the Israelites with a veiled face (causing their minds to become dull), but that we – with unveiled faces – reflect His glory and are being transformed into His likeness.
    It seems easier to put on a veil before one another, but it’s so exciting to see the Spirit convict and show us how to be God’s genuine free people, people who confess their sins, people who love unashamedly, and people who truly know God because they submitted themselves to the Spirit’s deep searching and sharpening.
    We are so looking forward to worshiping with you and Jana this week!

  2. howertonjosh permalink
    August 5, 2008 11:18 am

    Had coffe with your husband this morning, Andrea… I love that man. Thanks very much for the passage. I’m learning the freedom in confession of sin to each other right now and you’re affirming what God is teaching. Looking forward to hanging out with you guys also!

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